Becoming a Proud Witness


When I started having my children, I dreamed about taking the best care of them and somehow shaping them  into my idea of what the best human been would be. As time went by, I realized how the little ones already come with the main traces of their personalities. We actually adapt to the little ones and all of their characteristics. No matter what they are, we love them unconditionally and we keep taking them everyday through every step they need to take.

Today my kids are grown up and taking their first steps into adulthood life. I am also older and more comfortable with my own self and cherish their way of being with complete joy every step of the way.

Today for the second time I became a Proud Witness of  my kids taking their steps into adulthood. I say proud because I really feel joy, happiness, enjoyment, emotion and a certain relief to see them walking into the future. By becoming a witness I know for sure they will be ready to face and fight for they dreams.

The first experience of being a Proud Witness was when I took my daughter to start her life in a far away place to study to become a journalist. I felt worried to leave her, but somehow I new It was her path to start her life as an adult. At the time, memories came to let me know and acknowledge that once she was mine and dependent of me. I soon put myself in the position of the Proud  Witness to let her walk into her new life.

Today I took my youngest one to start his engineering school and, boy, it was the second time I was a Proud Witness. I can only say this is the best feeling in the whole world.

I came home and started to imagine that soon, maybe sooner than I think I would have to rethink my life. I promised myself back when I was pregnant with my daughter that I would not put my life on hold just because I was becoming a Mom. Surprisingly, I forgot untill today that I was supposed to have my own life.

The great news is that I get a second chance to become whatever I want once again. Thank you kids, for teaching me that love is all in life, that taking care of others fills you up so much that when ready to plan for your life again, you feel more energy and more joy that when you had to decide what to be in your late teens.


Back to The Future in Ipanema

I was walking into a decoration store in Ipanema to find out the price of a beautifly framed picture of a small French town. As soon as I entered the store, the smell took me back at least 30 years to my grandmothers home. The sales woman kindly wanted to help me, but I could not stop thinking of how my grandma was such a beautiful part of my life and how warm and safe the feeling of having her made me feel. I felt the need to hold on to that smell and moment for the longest possible, because once I left the store I would be back to my reality, which grandma did not make part anymore. I started walking slowly through the store and taking the time to inhale bits of the perfume for as long as possible. It was like I was simply enjoying my grandma’s company for just a little longer.

As I came out of the store I,  I was surprised of how old pictures and old friends  were taking my mind so so far away and how good it all made me feel. I learned that day from my grandma that I should stop every once in a while to remember my old times. That my life as a child and when I was growing up somehow make a support system that sometimes I look for in other things to help me cope with my life.

Now I listen to old songs that take me back, look at old pictures, find old recipies and ask my Mom to tell me old stories and even looked for old friends in Facebook. I spend hours looking back and wondering what my life could have been like If hadn´t come so so far away from all that. There’s a feeling o curiosity and  well being when I just take the time to get into my time machine and travel to anytime I want. Since traveling with my time machine has turned out so simple, my life today seems to be easier to handle no matter what problems I am dealing with.

There’ just one thing I have to say here before I finish this: thank you grandma wherever you are.


After af full  day, I looked at the clock in my office and I saw it was already 6:18 pm. Time to stop working on my IRS and get dinner ready for the family. I have been gathering all the information to send to my accountant since February -it is not that is so complicated,  the problem is that I keep having to run errands all day long and I dont seem to have two complete hours to concentrate enough to get the data ready  to send- I am lucky I can ask for extensions so I still have several weeks to file it. What is funny about the IRS is that every year I make the resolution of organizing myself better to make the filling easier than the year before, but just as my new year’s resolutions……they dont last to much.

As I go to the kitchen to fix dinner I start to think of the complicated task, what to prepare……. It will have to be something that everyone likes, something made from scratch, a new and different salad so it’s easier to convince the young ones to eat, and  finally what will it be: chicken, meat, fish……..The making of this food should not take anymore than 40 minutes or else I will be late for my dancing class. Oh and another condition is not to make a big mess because I like my kitchen looking as the first day I moved into my new house: like new.

At this point I sit for a minute and start dreaming of being the Bewitched with her magical powers.  If I had the magical powers, I’d  … I’d oh my gosh I do not even know what I would do…. The problem here is how I really dont have the time to dream of what I would do with my magical powers…I could think of what to do for my kids in a second, for my husband, for my parents, sister, brother and so on….. But not for me! Oh well It’s getting late and I have to make dinner I’ll leave my dreams for later once again.